Worindteam weekend highlights!

Don't have time to read about all the crap that happened over the weekend? Just look here, its condensed and funny as shit!

Warner named Cardinals starter - Great, I'm sure this'll help the Cardinals in the long run. I'm sure Warner won't be hurt by the 2nd quarter. Although this fits, the Cardinals didn't have nearly enough turmoil going on, it was almost like people had reason to be optimistic. This will put an end to THAT.

D'backs lose to worst team ever - The lead is only 2 1/2 games for the Diamondbacks who got crushed twice in a row by the Dodgers over the weekend. Things looked up on Friday, but I have no idea how they won that game after the way they played on Saturday and Sunday.

ASU beats NAU 30-13 - ASU looked pretty good, but NAU is just terrible, they couldn't tackle to save their lives. At least ASU gets a real opponent next week in Stanford. Unlike a certain team from Tucson which shall remain nameless. Also, the sign pictured above may be the funniest thing i've ever seen.

D'backs acquire David Eckstein - In a move that makes zero sense, the Diamondbacks add to an already cluttered lineup. Now they're gonna have to make a trade for another player just to

U of A beats Idaho 70-0 - Great job, you beat the worst team in the history of football. I could get 10 guys from my 8th grade PE class to beat Idaho they are so bad. And 10 guys from 9th grade to beat U of A, ba-zing!

Michigan Loses, again - All I can say to this is hahahahaha. Now if only Ohio State would lose a damn game.

ASU plays tonight!

Finally finally we have some meaningful football to watch. ASU will play Northern Arizona tonight from Sun Devil Stadium. Typically NAU will keep it pretty competitive until the 3rd quarter before ASU realizes they are playing a friggin' Division 1-AA team. That's like Spurs playing Ball St. and almost losing to them. Nothing against Ball St., but lets face it, they suck.

Oh yeah, the University of Arizona plays tonight, too. They play against the dreaded Idaho Vandals, who are currently on the nation's longest losing streak. Good luck against that powerhouse, U of A.

D'backs put it to Dodgers, up 4.5 games

Last night the Diamondbacks finally won a game, and it took the Dodgers coming into town to do it. A 4-run 7th pretty much sealed it for the D'backs who went on to win 9-3. And here we thought no one could be playing worse than the Diamondbacks. The Dodgers looked lifeless out there, and apparently Nomar thought it would be a good idea to wear a cement glove to the game. Lets hope the D'backs knock 'em out the next two days with Webb and Haren on the mound, and finally put this division race to bed.

Ocho Cinco is my favorite player

Apparently Chad Johnson doesn't know the meaning of "taking a joke too far." In a hilarious move on Friday, Chad Johnson legally changed his name to "Chad Ocho Cinco." 85 had this to say:

“It’s something I don’t think anyone has ever done before,” he told the team’s Web site. “Have I ever had a reason for why I do what I do? I’m having fun.”

There's a reason no one has ever done this before. Its ridiculous. It's so ridiuclous, its re-donk-ulous. I guess he'll finally be able to wear the Ocho Cinco jersey (pictured above) without getting fined by the NFL. Actually the more that I think about this story, the more I like it. On Monday I will henceforth be known as "Max Power." Or maybe I'll be that guy from the Dos Equis commercials, he's pretty cool.

Okay, who poked a whole in the dome?

Apparently, the storm on Thursday night was only loud and kinda scary, it was effing destructive as well. Pictured above is what's left of the Sun Devils $8.4 million practice facility after the monsoon. The damage is estimated at around $1.0 million, but from that picture it looks closer to $8.3 million. Yikes. Apparently this "jewel of the Pac-10" won't be used for quite a long time. The worst part about this is the fact that it was just completed THIS month. It's like getting irrigation the same day as it rains, just bad luck. Click here for a picture of the dome before it was popped.

Flopmaster needs surgery

It was news today that Spurs guard and perennial douchebag Emanuel Ginobili needs arthroscopic surgery on his ankle. It is unclear how long he'll be out, at least he has a couple months before the season starts. Now, I'd never wish pain on anyone, but that being said I have zero sympathy for Ginobili. His flopping is ridiculous and he is on the cheapest and most hated team in the NBA. I still believe their camp is about 10% basketball and 90% how to manipulate the rules. Bruce Bowen, on the other hand, just practices his best achilles-stomping technique the whole time. I hear he practices on children, too. What a douche.

Arizona State University 2008 Preview!

One of the many, many services Worindteam periodically provides is insight on teams upcoming schedules. Today we bring you the preview for Arizona State's college football schedule, including a predicted Win-Loss total for the year.

ASU is coming off a 10-3 season which concluded with a 52-34 from Texas. Quarterback Rudy Carpenter is back for his senior year, hoping to bring the Devils to a BCS game. Another key to their offense will be Wide Receiver Chris Mcgaha (pictured above) who seems to catch anything remotely near him. The Devils seemed poised for another year with a solid record, but don't quite measure up to the top teams in the Pac-10.

2008 predictions

Sat, Aug 30 Northern Arizona Win

Sat, Sep 6 Stanford Win

Sat, Sep 13 UNLV Win

Sat, Sep 20 (1) Georgia Loss

Sat, Oct 4 at California Win

Sat, Oct 11 at (3) USC Loss

Sat, Oct 25 (21) Oregon Win

Sat, Nov 1 at Oregon State Win

Sat, Nov 8 at Washington Loss

Sat, Nov 15 Washington State Win

Fri, Nov 28 UCLA Win

Sat, Dec 6 at Arizona Win

Overall: 9-3

Wow, you're awful

Apparently the Dodgers have not received the memo that they are smack dab in the middle of a pennant race. They proved this by losing 11-2 to the Nationals on Thursday, bringing them to 0-7 on their current road trip. I have no idea how manager Joe Torre (pictured above not wearing a hat able to contain his giant forehead) is putting up with this. At least they play the Diamondbacks next, who are playing almost as poorly. This weekend's series is going to look like two preschoolers fighting over a box of crayons; it won't be pretty, but somebody has to win.

Take THAT, Santoro

Apparently Fabrice Santoro didn't take kindly to having his head almost taken off during the U.S. Open. Maybe he should try actually returning a serve. Ooh, did Mr. Roddick almost hurt yer wittle hand with his big serve. A thousand pardons. This is like Jerricho Cotchery mad because Brett Favre threw him a passso hard his hands hurt afterward. Or a soccer player crying because his feet hurt after he kicks a goal. If you're worried about a ball coming at 140mph hitting your head, tennis isn't the sport for you, chief.

Pacman's back, already arrested again

Yes, you heard right, Adam "Pacman" Jones (pictured above jumping for joy) has been reinstated into the NFL. But it doesn't look good because, as you see from the headline, he's already in trouble again. Just kidding, he hasn't been arrested...yet. He's actually on his way to go commit a crime, just to meet his quota for the day. My guess: he's going to a strip club and punching the first stripper he sees. Just for fun, you know, like a rite of passage.

D'backs stink, the end

Well, what a game we had today. After Randy Johnson gave up 3 runs in the 7th to make it a 4-3 game (who know how the D'backs managed to actually get 4 runs), Chad Qualls balked and said to himself "You call THAT giving up runs, watch this!" and proceeded to give up the lead in the blink of an eye. I'm not gonna lie, I turned the game on and it was 4-0. I changed the radio to listen to one song (and it was a good one), turned it back to the game and it was 4-3. Is it even possible to give up runs that fast? Should we just buy a pitching machine and set it on the mound. At least the machine never gets tired and never talks back (except for those real advanced ones. You know, the ones with those cool racing stripes).

Webb stinks, still has 19 wins

Well, the Diamondbacks blew another chance to distance themselves from the awful Dodgers (who have now lost 5 in a row). This time it wasn't the bullpen at all, what a shock! It was Brandon Webb (or B Dub as we call him). Here I am thinking Webb is actually a decent pitcher, and he goes and gives up 6 runs in 4 2/3 innings. I guess that first Cy Young award must have been a fluke. Just like those other 19 wins this year, all luck.

Webb goes for 20 tonight

Tonight Brandon Webb goes for his 20th win tonight and since no one has done it in the National League since 2005, this is kind of a big deal (just like Ron Burgundy). Furthermore, Webb has a chance to win 20 before September, a feat only accomplished a few times in recent years. As long as the D'backs win tonight, which is looking more and more improbable if the D'backs bullpen is allowed anywhere near the field, I'll be happy. I think the D'backs bullpen is so bad right now, if a reliever even LOOKS at the field, the other team hits a 3-run homer. Yah, they're that bad.

So close to football!

Thursday marks the beginning of college football (with ASU starting its schedule on Saturday when NAU comes to town), and since I'm getting a little sick playing Madden this is great news. Despite the fact that no Valley teams have any real shot at greatness this year, its still fun as heck to watch them. Speaking of that, ESPN has recently been going its 2008 NCAA conference previews and recently did their Pac-10 preview, or should I say "USC Love Fest 2008". They brought up about 4 points about the conference and only once mentioned any player not on USC, in Washington QB Jake Locker. Maybe they should have mentioned that ASU was the fricken Pac-10 Co-Champion last year! Maybe they should mention that USC WASN'T in the championship game, and actually lost a Pac-10 game. I know ASU isn't a national power, but at least give them a little love.

Just throw the whole bullpen in the Pacific

Earlier tonight the Diamondbacks lost 4-2 to the Padres in San Diego. Both starters pitched great games, but it was the D'backs bullpen that blew another game late in the season for them. This time it was newcomer John Rauch, who gave up a 2-run bomb in the 9th to Jody "I look nothing like my name" Gerut. It seems like every night its someone new who blows the game for the D'backs. Tony Pena pitched great tonight but who knows about tomorrow, it may be his turn to lose a game for his team. The D'backs may not be destined for a championship, but if they want to even sniff the postseason fixing the bullpen better be #1 on their to-do list.

Hold up, Golden Boy may still be starter

Despite last night's reports, Matt Leinart may still be the starter for your Arizona Cardinals. This coming from coach Ken Whisenhunt who says that nothing has been decided yet, and all that politically correct stuff. I say if Warner (pictured above being made of glass) is named the starter, big deal, he's just going to break his thumb on a handoff or bruise his sternum on a sack during the first game he's out there. Then Leinart will be back in there, hopefully with a newfound respect for the starting job, and all will be right in Cardinals land.

Suns trade Strawberry, receive Grapes, Apples

According to KTAR's John Gambodoro, the Suns have traded 3rd stringer D.J. Strawberry for 2nd round pick Sean Singletary, formally of the Houston Rockets. A bit of an interesting move for the Suns, who just signed another point guard in Goran Dragic. Well, at least now the Suns can get back to not being good enough to win a championship anymore. Whew.

Worindteam weekend highlights!

Don't have time to read about all the crap that happened over the weekend? Just look here, its condensed and funny as shit!

Osi Umenyiora out for season - Big blow to the defending champs who now have lost half of their Brady-Smashing defensive line. Maybe now the Redskins and Eagles will have a chance at winning the division. Bahahaha I'm just joking, of course they still have no shot.

Hawaii wins Little League World Series - Why this is news I have no idea, but apparently ESPN deems it important enough to devote their ENTIRE weekend to it. Thanks, I love hearing little Johnny's favorite player, color and snack. Actually, I like Oreos, too, how weird is that?

Pavano to the rescue - Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano made his first start in about 38 years over the weekend. The news isn't that he went 5 innings and gave up only three runs, earning a victory in the process. It's the fact that the second he stepped on the mound he DIDN'T spotaneously combust. Kudos to you, Mr. Pavano.

Golden Boy out, Warner in

Just coming across the wire, according to a report by Espn's Chris Mortensen the Cardinal will name Kurt Warner as their starting quarterback for the regular season. This is most likely due to Leinart's beyond horrible performance during Saturday's 24-0 win in Oakland. I'm not sure exactly what his stats were, but they were something like 0-30, 8 int, -4 yds.

(thanks, Yankeez)

U.S. wins gold, damn straight

The U.S. capped its 3 year expedition early Sunday morning by beating the racist Spain team 118-107. Spain put up a fight but ultimately lost to the superior depth and skill of the U.S. team. This was primarily due to the 4th quarter performance by Kobe Bryant. Damnit, Kobe, why did you have to go and do that? How am I supposed to hate your guts now? How am I supposed to hate a patriot? I guess I'll just have to settle for hating every single one of your teammates. Now that that's out of the way, I have a few things to say about Spain. First of all, what's up with having your first names on your jerseys? Ya, I'm sure its not embarrassing having "Ricky" on your jersey, I'm sure you don't feel like a 5 year old. Also, when did Spain sign Bigfoot? Sorry, my bad, it was just Marc Gasol, or as I call him, "The Missing Link".

Bring home that gold!

In just a few minutes, the U.S. Olympic basketball team is about to tip off against the very, very anti-Chinese Spain team. The U.S. should be able to dispose of Spain pretty easily, seeing as they beat them by 38 earlier in the tournament. Let's hope its a beat down of epic proportion. As much as I have given NBC crap about the Olympic coverage, I have to give them some dap for finally showing a game on TV live.

Hey Alexis Miller, tell me how my ass taste

In a bizarre story coming out of the Atlanta Journal Constitution, it appears Shaquille O'Neal has had a restraining order granted against him. According to the Atlanta Journal Constituion

The allegations are that O'Neal stalked her, threatened her with bodily harm and made harassing phone calls in which he breathed heavily into the phone before hanging up the The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.

"Breathed heavily into the phone"? What is this, the '30s? Get with the times, Shaq, send her a scary email or something. Oh wait, you did:

he court affadavit quotes an e-mail from O'Neal as saying, "I dnt no who the $#@@ u think u dealin wit u will neva be heard from one phone call is I gotta make now try me. Sho me."

Yikes, some of those words aren't even close to making sense. I say forget the restraining order and just get him a damn spell checker.

USA pounds Argentina, literally

When I posted earlier that the U.S. should injure Ginobili, I didn't actually mean it. I just wanted them to make sure that he never played basketball or walked, every again. Well, the U.S. Olympic team came dangerously close to doing that during a 101-81 win over Argentina at some ungodly hour Friday morning. Not only did they win convincingly, but Emanuel Ginobili injured his ankle during the first quarter of the game. Wait, Ginobili was out most of the game and they only won by 20? This must be a mistake. I was about to praise the team, but now I think a good scathing is in order. Anyways, the U.S. plays against Spain in the gold medal game sometime on Sunday. If history is any indicator, the game will be played at about 3:45 pacific time, then aired about 36 hours later.

49ers named restaurant as starting QB

Just announced today, Coach Mike Nolan and the San Francisco 49ers have named journeyman quarterback J.T. O'Sullivan their starter for the season opener against your Arizona Cardinals. This comes as a shock to many who expected mediocre-at-best Alex Smith to hold onto his role as starting QB. If Smith isn't careful, he may just reach his goal of being named "Biggest Draft Bust Ever". Hopefully Ryan Leif will be graceful in stepping down, but we know that wont happen. I also stumbled across this and wished I could give whoever made it a high five.

Don't upset the Unit

After pitching 7 solid innings and striking out 13 on Friday night, Randy Johnson (pictured above practicing his bird-decimating technique) left it up to the Diamondbacks bullpen to finish off the floundering Florida Marlins. It's a shame newcomer John Rauch has joined Brandon Lyon, Tony Pena, Chad Qualls and Juan Cruz in the list of "Unreliable Relievers". Rauch came in and quickly gave up 2 runs to the Marlins, therefore sealing defeat for the Diamondbacks, who lost out on the chance go up 3 games on the suddenly dreadful Dodgers. I wish I had a solution in mind for the ailing bullpen, maybe just buy a dartboard and pick who goes in that way each game? That seems like as good an idea as any at this point.

Maybe try a smaller size

During Thursday's match up with the Rockies, Manny Ramirez apparently thought it'd be fun to wear a helmet about 8 sizes to big for him. In a span of about 5 minutes, he lost his helmet 3 times on the base paths. Look, I know do-rags are cool, but they've been around for like 100 years. Maybe next time he should have something cool under his helmet, like a top hat, or some doves.

Webb is unstoppable, now 19-4

Brandon Webb is an amazing pitcher, and is now 19-4 on the season after a 4-1 victory over the Padres Thursday night. He went 7 innings and gave up no runs, improving his ERA to a ridiculous 2.74. This guy may have 25 victories before the season is over if he keeps up his current pace. Normally, that would be a good thing, but its starting to worry me. Just how much damn money are the D'backs going to have to pay this guy when the season is over? They gave Dan Haren 15.5 million a year, imagine what they're going to have to give B Dub (Webb's official new nick name). For starters, he's gonna need a G-5, two copies of Superman #1, and a personal birthday wish from his idol, Mickey Mantle. I didn't say it would be easy, but I mean, c'mon, he's 19-4.

Maddux pitches tonight

Just a few days after being acquired from San Diego, Gred Maddux is scheduled to make his Dodger debut Friday night. Maddux (pictured above looking boob-tastic) is a meager 6-9 on the season, with a 3.99 ERA. After acquiring the aging Maddux, the Dodgers are still looking for additions, albeit more youthful players. They are currently negotiating with Jesse Orosco, Yogi Berra, and that rappin' granny.

Guess who sucks?

Yep, the New York Yankees, including "The 'Stache" himself (pictured above oozing douche-ness) have fallen to 10.5 games behind the Rays after an embarrassing 14-3 loss Thursday to the Bluejays. This comes as great news to me, seeing as I despise the New York Yankees almost as much as their fans, especially ones that don't live in New York. Actually, that goes for all fans of the Yankees, Cubs, Cowboys, Lakers and Redsox who don't live in their teams' prospective city. If you love that team so damn much, then live there! I'm sure Connecticut is fun for more than about 8 seconds, and I can actually smell New York's stink from where I'm sitting (a pelacio estate in Arizona, in case you were wondering).

Usain Bolt is ridiculous

Over the past few days, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt has won gold medals in both the 100 meter and 200 meter races. Not only that, he broke the world record in both events (and he even screwed around in the 100 meter). This guy is so damn fast its insane. Also, where the heck did he come from and how come no one knew about him until now? Actually, a better question is; how can we use his superpower to our advantage? Do you realize how quickly he could get me an entire office's coffee order? Or how fast he could mow my lawn? Just THINK of the applications!

This guy's not too bad

Earlier tonight the Diamondbacks won 8-6 over the Padres, a night which included another home run from newcomer Adam Dunn (pictured above being a Texas dreamboat). After Dan Haren (who apparently can't pitch in the first inning anymore) gave up 4 runs in the 1st inning, Dunn promptly came out and crushed a laser over the right field fence off Padres pitcher Jake Peavy. As much flak as this guy catches for striking out 800 times per season, Adam Dunn isn't too bad. He sees a ton of pitches every at bat, walks alot, and occasionaly hits a ball into the Pacific Ocean.

USA pounds Australia, Ginobili next

Very early this morning the U.S. Olympic basketball team pummeled the Australians 116-85 in Beijing. This comes as a relief because just a few weeks ago this very same team (minus my least favorite player, Andrew Bogut) came within 10 points of beating the U.S. The U.S. seems almost unstoppable, especially considering how much trouble the other teams are having with each other. Next up; Argentina. Yah thats right, Emanuel Ginobili and company. Ginobili (pictured above arguing a call, what a shock) has singlehandedly made Argentina the Flopping Capital of the World. I heard the national team practices flopping so much that when air conditioners turn on, they go flying across the room. What? That air conditioner totally ran me over on the way to the hoop!

Gilb and Big?

Yesterday, Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas appeared on the greatest radio show of all time, Big O and Dukes. During that interview he was asked about future possible endeavors and he mentioned that the producers of MTV's smash hit "Rob and Big" have contacted him about a possible reality TV show. This would be the first reality show to follow an NBA player, and it would be a great choice. Arenas has received a lot of attention for his on and off the court antics and seems like he'd be fun to follow around.

D'backs win despite Lyon's awfulness

The Diamonbacks just won for their 5th time in 7th games, a 7-6 squeaker against the ridiculously bad Sand Diego Padres. Doug Davis actually pitched well for once, going 6 innings while giving up just 2 runs. Brandon Lyon did not. All he did was come in the 9th inning and do everything in his power to blow a 7-3 lead for the D'backs. Apparently Davis and Lyon thought it would be fun to switch roles for a night, kind of like a Freaky Friday thing or maybe White Chicks, if they were both disgusting looking and horribly unconvincing.

Boldin and Whisenhunt are best buds

Despite the fact that yesterday Anquan Boldin claimed that he and Cardinals Coach Ken Whisenhunt never talked, conflicting reports came out today. According to Whisenhunt:

"Communicating is talking - that's what we've been doing at practice," Whisenhunt said. "Now, as we go forward from here, I don't know. I don't foresee anything changing, so if it does that's certainly in his court."

The more information that comes out about this, the worse the situation seems. Boldin isn't happy, and may be "pulling a Manny" (to quote Dave Byrnes). I love Boldin on the field, no one can break tackles like him, but you have to draw a line somewhere. I say he can stay unless he openly demands a trade, publicly bashes the organization, weasels out of training camp with a hamstring injury. Yikes, I guess that only leaves me with "sleeps with the coach's wife" and "bad mouths Jeff Goldblum", both things you should never do my friend.



Source: KTAR.com

Boldin wants a trade, is kind of a douche

Coming out earlier today were reports involving Anquan Boldin and his burning hate for the Arizona Cardinals. Unfortunately for the Cardinals, this story seems to be spiraling out of control. From NFL.com:

"As long as I'm here, I can't see myself as a happy member of this organization at all, not with this situation being what it is. I don't see it being rectified, either. The relationship with me and the organization is done. I'm here to uphold my contract, that's it."

This is more like it! I was worried the Cardinals were going to have a decent season, you know, over .500, maybe make the playoffs. But after the Boldin drama and the soon-to-be quarterback controversy I can't see a lot of great things on the horizon for this team. The only question is, what's next? My guess is an injury to a key player, I'm thinking on defense. Then it will be back to normal; the Cardinals in the cellar of the NFC West and the laughing stock of the NFL.

Suns finally get 2nd round pick

Over the weekend, the Phoenix Suns reached an agreement with 2nd round pick Goran Dragic (pictured above guarding Eva Longoria's bitch) and his team from Spain. Not much has been said about the Suns, who made this pick not knowing whether they would have Dragic this year or have to wait until 2009. Dragic could have stayed in Spain another year but is now on his way to Phoenix, apparently doing anything he can to get away from the most racist country ever. Word is, he will be the backup to Steve Nash as soon as possible, as the Suns seem unable to sign any veteran backup point guards this off-season (although the Matt Barnes signing gets a thumbs up).

It's about to get real real

The U.S. Olympic basketball team finally finished up the first round of games today by beating Germany worse than they did in World War II. Finally they move into games that actually matter, and play Australia sometime Wednesday morning. In case you haven't already figured out, NBC has decided to make it harder to find Olympic basketball games than to figure out how they score those gymnasts (ya, I'm sure it makes sense that 16 is a perfect score). Australia is the team that almost beat the U.S. a couple weeks ago, and also feature the ridiculously overpaid Andrew Bogut (pictured above being an underachieving zilch).

D'backs go 4-2, lose ground

Earlier today, the Diamondbacks finished up their 6 game roady with a 3-0 loss to the Houston Astros and Roy Oswalt (pictured above about to go Incredible Hulk on us). The D'backs went 4-2 on said roadtrip, yet still lost ground to the Dodgers who went 5-1 in that span (thanks alot, Philadelphia and Milwaukee). At this point both teams seem to be playing great ball, thanks mainly to Diamondbacks role players (see Chris Burke, Miguel Montero and Yusmeiro Petit) and the Dodgers' only decent player (see Manny Ramirez). The Diamondbacks now head home to face the Padres, a team that stinks yet always gives the D'backs problems, while the Dodgers head to Washington to surely sweep the Nationals.

Phelps win 8 golds, my heart

A few hours ago, Michael Phelps (pictured above in a swimsuit just tight enough to leave something to my imagination) finished his ridiculous Olympic schedule and won his record 8th gold medal. This puts him at 16 total Olympic medal, including 14 gold. At this point just about everything has been said about Phelps, who is sure to be in all forms of media as soon as he reaches U.S. soil (in fact, I've already seen him in 8 Alltel commercials and 3 E! reality shows).

D'backs pound Astros, Dodgers finally lose

Earlier today, the Diamondbacks won their 2nd straight game against the Houston Astros, this time by the score of 11-2. This comes a night after a 12-2 pounding, against a Houston team that had previously been on fire. Yusmeiro Petit pitched well again, going 7 innings and giving up 2 runs. I have no idea how this guy is only 2-3, every time I see him he has a solid outing (his era is 3.02 for goodness sakes). The best news of the night, though, comes from Los Angeles where the Brewers beat the red hot Dodgers 4-3 in 10 innings. Look, I know Manny Ramirez is a great player, but someone has to beat these guys (unlike the Phillies who laid 3 eggs against them). Lets hope the Diamondbacks have figured something out here and keep this offensive show rolling, even though after tonight our Grand Slam Quota has been met for the next 5 years.

KTAR wants to stir it up

KTAR 620 AM is the official radio station of the Arizona Cardinals, and they are currently at the Cardinals' training camp in Flagstaff. They have done a fine job of covering the team while up there and are by far the number one sports station in the valley. But they apparently want to start up some controversy, on what I have unofficially dubbed "KTAR Loves Kurt Warner" Day. Everybody who has touched a microphone on that station in the last 24 hours has not stopped talking about how great backup Quarterback Kurt Warner looks in training camp, and, more specifically, how much better he looks than starter Matt Leinart (pictured above looking remarkably similar to myself). Now, I can agree that Warner is a great quarterback (Hell, he won a Superbowl and can wing it with the best of 'em) but Leinart is the future of the team and the coaching staff and management knows it. Yes, they may have said that the position was up for grabs at the beginning of training camp, but that's just something you say to make the backup feel good. Problem is, this also gets the backup thinking he has a chance, and gets him upset when he realizes he's going to lose out (see Rudy Carpenter). As much as I like Warner, Leinart is the quarterback of the present and future for the Cardinals. They need a franchise guy, and they need to make sure its Leinart (who will hereby be known as "Nick Lachey's best friend").

Get it together, NBC

So the 2008 Olympics have been going on for about a week now, and everyone seems to be enjoying them (myself included). But there is one huge problem that I've noticed and no one else seems to be pointing out; the damn games aren't live. I don't care what the graphic on NBC says, they aren't. I was driving home last night about 10pm pacific time and already heard the dreadful Amy Lawrence giving her commentary about the games on ESPN radio. She was talking about how great it is that Michael Phelps already has 5 gold medals and how he may be the most dominant blah blah blah. So I get home and turn on NBC and there's Phelps, just starting a race that has been over for 3 hours. Not only that, NBC has a big "LIVE" graphic in the corner of the screen. Look, delaying the games for some ridiculous reason is one thing, but don't feed me this crap saying they are live. I purposely got up at five am the other day to watch the basketball game vs. Angola only to realize it was delayed for 3 hours. Isn't it 2008? Don't we have some pretty damn good technology? Then why can't we broadcast a game live, is that too much to ask?

Dunn era starts well

Last night was the first game in which newly acquired outfielder Adam Dunn (pictured above being interviewed by Bob Barker apparently) played for the Diamondbacks and he didn't do that bad. He went 1 for 3 with two walks, two strikeouts and a double. This will probably be the norm for Dunn and that's not a bad thing; as long as he is getting base consistently and taking pressure off the other D'backs, that's all you can ask from him. He has no problem being the focal point of the batting order, and now Jackson and Reynolds and Young can just concentrate on knocking that big Texan in when they are up to bat. Although I do predict at some point in this next week Dunn will be wearing that Golden Sombrero, just a thought.

Game 2 starts soon!!

The U.S. starts begins its second game of the 2008 Olympics in about 45 minutes. They face heated rival Angola this time, and by "heated rival" I mean "Team they are going to ruthlessly annihilate." I just looked over the roster for Angola, and apparently its tradition to give your children at least 12 different names. Look at some of these: Felizardo Silvestre Bumba Ambrosio, and Vladimir Ricardino Carval Jeronimo, and who could forget Carlos Edilson Alcantara Morais. As I have said all along, this should be nothing more than a thorn in the paw of the mighty U.S. team, a thorn that will be pulled out, burned, then kicked out of the olympics forever.

D'backs add Strikeout Machine

The D'backs, in a move that is still blowing my mind, just acquired outfielder Adam Dunn from the Cincinnati Reds for 3 prospects. It seems they didn't give up any of their best prospects (see Max Scherzer), but the move is still confusing. Don't they have enough high strikeout guys on their team? Mark Reynolds strikes out from the dugout on a regular basis, and Chris Young just yells "K!" from the lockeroom every now and then he's so strikeout-prone. Its ridiculous. Dunn can provide some pop, no doubt about that, but I feel he's just a slightly more polished version of Mark Reynolds, whom the D'backs already employ.

D'backs win, manage to not injure anyone

The D'backs won their first game in five chances earlier today, with 99% of that credit going to Brandon Webb (pictured above throwing a ball so hard he emptied his bowels). Not only did he pitch 6 solid innings, but crushed a 2-run double in 4th to give the D'backs a 6-0 lead. This is Webb's 17th win already and it seems every time he goes to the mound he not only pitches well, but the team seems to hit for him. I'm sure Dan Haren would have liked some of that run support yesterday, or for some decent relief pitching to come in after him (I'm looking at you Juan Cruz, you son of a bitch).

Brock Lesnar is a monster

I just finished watching UFC 87 and I must say, Brock Lesnar (pictured above prior to destroying Tokyo) is ridiculous. He didn't knock out his opponent Heath Herring, but he did proceed to punch and knee him for 15 straight minutes. After watching that fight, I think my list of "People I'd least like to meet in a dark alley" would go something like this:

1. Brock Lesnar
2. The Cloverfield Monster
3. Maggie Gyllenhaal (you could replace the "dark alley" part with "anywhere" on this one)

The Olympics are riveting!!

The 2008 Olympics started today and before about 28 hours ago, I could have cared less about them. But I have bought in big time now, after the amazing opening ceremonies (pictured above) and watching a few U.S teams/athletes. I'm sitting here watching the U.S. play Venezuela in volleyball and it may as well be the NBA finals its so amazing. I dare any red-blooded American to watch more than 5 minutes of any team sport involving the U.S. and not be fired up. I'm over here doing roundhouse kicks every time the U.S. gets a dig or a kill, oh my goodness this is great!

Here we go!

The United States Olympic basketball team finally kicks off its schedule in about 6 hours against China (10am ET). What a way to start their schedule; not only are they playing the host nation, but get to play against 3 of my personal heroes: Yao Ming, Yi Jianlian, and Wang Zhizhi. Hopefully the U.S. sets a tone for these Olympics, a tone like "Shock and Aw" a name which just popped in to my head, all of my own volition. Anyways, beating the Chinese like a four year old in Kmart would be a great way to open up the first round of games, and make sure everyone knows we are here for the Gold.

That's it, they're done

The Diamondbacks lost their 4th straight game a few hours ago, and the 3rd in a row the to suddenly awe-inspiring Atlanta Braves. Not only that, second basemen Orlando Hudson broke his wrist in the 6th inning trying to tag out Brian McCann. Hudson, currently in a contract year, missed the end of last year as well with a wrist injury, and it appears he will miss the rest of this year. I don't have to tell you this is a huge blow for the D'backs; not only is Hudson reliable and steady in the field, but he is probably the most consistent hitter on the team besides Conor Jackson. It appears Augie Ojeda will fill in at second for the most part, with the D'backs trading away second basemen prospect Emilio Bonifacio a few weeks ago (damnit!). I think Augie is a great player and all, but I just don't know if he can match what Hudson does on and off the field. I'd love him to prove me wrong and match his stellar play from last year, but I don't think it will happen. Let's hope this isn't the end for the D'backs, as they are only 1/2 game up on the Dodgers in the standings. The only good news to come out of the night is that the Dodgers lost as well, 3-2 to the Giants.

D'backs lose 3rd straight, strike zone shrinking

A few hours ago the Diamondbacks lost their third straight game, and now cling to just a 1/2 game lead in the standings over the Dodgers. The controversy here isn't the D'backs losing again, its the fact that umpire Ed Montague's strike zone was about the size of a postage stamp. This doesn't bother me a ton right now, but if every umpire is going to have a different strike zone, especially if its not consistent during the span of a game, then the MLB needs to do something about it. I love baseball, but if it starts letting its umpires change too much of the game, then it just won't work. Look at the NBA; the home teams won about 90% of the home games during last year's playoffs, do in large part to the referees playing to the crowd. Are we about to see a trend like that in baseball? I hope not, but I wouldn't be surprised to see a Cubs vs. Redsox/Yankees world series either.

What a shock, D'Backs offense slumping

A few hours ago the Diamondbacks finished their latest lost, this time to the Atlanta Braves and rookie pitcher Charlie Morton. Except for a meaningless three run homer by Mark Reynolds in the 8th, the Diamondbacks mustered only a few hits. Also, This is the 2nd time in a row the D'backs have lost to a rookie pitcher, with Morton going seven shutout innings on Thursday. Last night it was Jeff "Mouth Breather" Karstens who was 4 outs from a perfect game. How many times in the past two years have the D'backs faced a rookie pitcher and made him look like Cy Young? If I were the Dodgers and had a series against Arizona coming up, I'd just call up my entire AAA rotation and stick 'em in there. Five bucks says it'd be a sweep.