Suns lose home opener

During the second part of their back-to-back to open the season, the Phoenix Suns lost 108-95 to the New Orleans Hornets on Thursday night. This comes as really no surprise to this fan, as the Suns have not beaten the Hornets since Chris Paul (pictured above after smelling Raja's Bells rampant BO) donned that turquoise jersey. The Suns' bench (yes, they have a bench now!) did make a run in the 4th quarter, closing the lead to 83-80, but the Hornets then unleashed a flurry of 3 pointers, pushing the lead to 12 and never looking back. It was great to see coach Terry Porter have some faith in his bench (even if it means falling behind by a few points) and not immediately react by bringing back his starters (coughD'antonicough).

Rays fans are unlucky

How unlucky do you have to be to get hit in the dome with a vodka bottle? I mean, all you want to do is climb around on a traffic light and some jerk bounces a Smirnoff bottle off your dome? How fair is that? It'd be like if I was robbing a bank and they tried to arrest me or something. I mean, Who do those "police" think they are?



Thanks to Yankeez for the video.

Suns start season off with a win

It appears that Terry Porter is already had a positive effect on the Suns, what with them beating the Spurs 103-98 on Wednesday night. He already has one more win against a good team than D'antoni did last year (I think his record against Western playoff teams was like 0-138). The real story from this game is Greg Popovich and his ridiculous Hack-a-Shaq'ing. At least O'neal was 5 for 8 from the line during the game, possibly giving Popovich something to think about in the future. I will give him credit though, the foul five seconds into the game was pretty funny. Almost as funny as Pop's awful beard he thinks he can pull off. You have to be a real man to pull that look off, like Leonidis from 300, or me.

P.S. It took me HOURS to find a picture of Tim Duncan complaining, they are more rare than a damn unicorn.

Phillies win world series

Thank the good lord I am able to stop talking about baseball for four months. Yay, the Phillies won, their pour city hasn't had a championship in 20 years. Cry me a river. At least now you are free to keep cheering when hall of famers end their career and booing anyone and everyone who doesn't perform every single night of their life.

Guess which sport is awful?

I turned on the Lakers-Blazers game last night and within the first 30 SECONDS I see Derek Fisher (pictured above being a douchebag) flying across the court like he was just shot out of a cannon, and Blazers center Gred Oden was called for a foul. This is the antithesis of why the NBA is now my 3rd favorite sport and could fall behind MMA very quickly. There are so many ridiculous, cheap tactics that some players use to get an advantage, and the referees are still falling for them. Speaking of the referees, they're awful. They only give calls to teams who complain or are supposed to win (see the Spurs and Lakers). Yes, I am a bitter Suns fan who is very biased because of their inability to win a championship. But this is getting re-goddamn-diculous and I'll be damned if I watch a single game outside the Suns games this year.

Oh my gawd, Eli sabotaged the Giants!

In news that is spreading like wildfire, Eli Manning supposedly sabotaged his own team this past Sunday night against the Steelers. Apparently Manning mouthed the name of the play to the sidelines before a crucial 4th and goal and someone on the Steelers' defense read his lips and knew the play. Why this is such big news is beyond me. I saw it on ESPN.com last night and thought it was interesting, but today (two days late, mind you) it is the cover story on Yahoo.com. Apparently their isn't enough real news out there to cover so they have to rely on sports stories like this. If they wanted sports news, how about how the freaking World Series may never end, or how about that real news story we call the election. Yah, that's only a week away, maybe run some filler on that instead.

TGISports weekend highlights

The NFC West is still awful - If the Seahawks and 49ers hadn't played each other, every team in the NFC West would have lost again this past Sunday. When I saw Seattle/San Francisco on the schedule I assumed it would end a tie or somehow both teams would lose. In case anyone thought this division was on the rise after the Rams won 2 straight and the Cardinals were 4-2, simply look to Sunday's scoreboard.

The Phillies are up 3-1 - Apparently the theme of this post season will go down as "Underdogs FTW". Has one favorite actually won a series? Maybe the Red Sox, but they promptly folded, just like Patrick Cote's knee (sorry!)

ESPN loves horse racing - How many times must I hear about the stupid Breeder's Cup? It's not one of the big three races and Big Brown isn't in it, so why are you still covering it? I'm sure there is another meaningless Big 10 game you'd love to air instead.

Penn St. beat Ohio St. - Because I despise Ohio St. more than pretty much any other institution in America (Europe is a whole other ball of wax), it was great to see Penn St. and Joe Pa take down the Buckeyes. I just feel sorry for anyone in attendance for that horribly boring game. 3-3 at halftime? C'mon.

Cardinals lose, drop to 4-3

Even with the refs help, the Panthers were only able to win 27-23 against the road-weary Cardinals. Coupled with the 49ers loss in New England, West Coast teams are now 0-11 playing games on the East Coast.

As far as the game went, the Cardinals played a great first half and a great first possession in the second half, but it went downhill and downhill fast after that. After going down 17-3, the Panthers scored about two minutes later and then again about 30 seconds after that (thanks to Warner's lone interception). It was in classic Cardinals fashion as they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and couldn't stop the Panthers on their final possession, culminating by allowing Carolina to convert a 3rd and 11 with a freaking draw play. Next up is the Rams in St. Louis, a road game the Cardinals are actually capable of winning. Whether they do it remains to be seen, but as Lloyd Christmas said "So, you're telling me there's a chance."

Great, Amare dislocates finger

In the preseason game against the Thunder on Thursday, Suns forward Amare Stoudemire dislocated his pinkie finger and left the game in the third corner. Thankfully, the damn preseason is over so there shouldn't be anymore chances for Suns players to get hurt before the regular season. The Suns are going to need all the luck they can get to compete in the brutal Western Conference this year, and this is not a good sign of things to come.

Cowboys get Roy Williams, lose everything else

The Dallas Cowboys traded for WR Roy Williams on Tuesday, and it's a good thing. In fact, it's the only good thing going on in Dallas right now. In the past 72 hours, they have lost a game, their QB for a month, their trouble-magnet cornerback, their safety (Ken Hamlin), and 3 draft picks. I'm betting there aren't too many people walking around with Terrell Owens right now, seeing as the team is on the brink of implosion.

Speaking of Roy Williams, apparently the Cowboys think his arms are made of gold because they traded a 1st, 3rd and 6th round pick for him. Whoever negotiated that for them should be fired then shipped to Cambodia. I heard their next move is offering Marcus Spears and Marion Barber for punter Jeff Feagles.

Here comes an awful World Series!

After both the Ray and Phillies have taken a 3-1 series lead, it looks more and more likely that they will meet in the World Series. You know who won't be meeting in the world series? ANYONE ELSE. A Phillies-Rays World Series would do disastrous numbers in the ratings. Nobody outside of Philly wants to see that matchup (I'm not including Tampa Bay because lets face it, the Rays have no real fans). And don't say you want the underdog to win. Yes, its fun in theory, but when you have to watch seven games of it, it gets boring real quick. Kind of like watching an airshow. It sounds cool, but when you go to it, you instantly want to leave.

TGISports weekend highlights!

The NFL is awesome - If you needed any more convincing that the NFL is the best sport out there, look no further than Sunday's games. The Falcons, Rams (pictured above humiliating the Redskins), Texans, Vikings and Cardinals all won on last second plays. At one point I saw the Falcons kick a game winning field goal and the Rams do the same within literally 30 seconds. If there is a more entertaining sport, I haven't heard of it.

Top 5 teams falling like flies - Saturday was home to a plethora of great matchups in college football, and they didn't disappoint. Oklahoma, LSU and Missouri all lost (albeit to ranked teams) and the top 25 polls had quite a shakeup, with Texas coming out on top (for now).

The Lions are hilarious - In case you haven't seen the video yet (conveniently linked in the title), make sure to block out a few hours before you do because the laughing that will ensue afterward will be unstoppable.

Guess who stinks, the NFC West - I know, I feel like a renegade claiming the NFC West, of all divisions, is not up to par. I'm on an island out here, like that guy from The Cay. I even have the sweet beard for it.

What a shock: ASU loses again

I'm starting to debate on whether to even report on the Sun Devils anymore. I mean, it's not even news when the Devils lose now, it's just so damn commonplace. Anyways, the Sun Devils lost 28-0 to the USC Trojans on Saturday, a game which surprised no one. ASU has scored 24 points in their last three games combined and really just looks bad. I'm glad they didn't get a touchdown at the end of the game, either, as that would have cheapened the beating they took on Saturday. At no point did ANYONE think ASU would win, and they didn't dissapoint. ASU faces Oregon in two weeks and there is no reason why they shouldn't be 30 point underdogs. The only thing more shocking than an ASU win over Oregon would be the Lions NOT making an embarrasing play every week (please see above post).

By the way, that picture is of the USC punter upending an ASU player. Ya, the PUNTER.

The Suns played outdoors

The Suns and Nuggets played the first outdoor game in the NBA since 1972 on Saturday, and boy was it boring. The Nuggets won 77-72 in a defensive struggle. The game was pretty uneventful, but the setting was amazing. It was held at a tennis court in California and I wish I would have bought tickets. What could be better than an NBA game outdoors? Ya, it was a bit cool (65 degrees) but what more can you ask for? A cool breeze and Shaq dunking on Linas Kleiza. Sounds like a good night to me.

Cardinals beat Cowboys, now 4-2

I'm taking a brief break from doing mule kicks and punching the air to write about the Cardinals amazing 30-24 overtime victory over the Cowboys. From start to finish, this may have been the craziest game of the NFL season. I mean, the game started with a kickoff returned for a touchdown, for goodness sake. And how many fumbles were there today, like 20? I think Romo spreads butter on his hands before every snap just to spice things up a little bit.

Of course, the Cardinals could not make it easy on themselves, blowing a 10 point lead in the final 4 minutes, capping it off by calling a timeout after the kicker missed a 52 yard field goal, giving him a chance to nail it about 30 seconds later. As soon as the Cowboys won the toss, I think every Cardinals fan thought the game was over. But the '08 Cardinals proved (for now) that they aren't like many of the Cardinals teams of past and came up with a huge 3 and out, and blocking the hell out of the punt to win it. What a game.

P.S. Anquan Boldin didn't play. Take THAT, bandwagon Dallas fans.

Boldin out against Cowboys

It was confirmed on Friday that Cardinals wide receiver Anquan Boldin will miss the game against the Cowboys on Sunday. This is probably best for Boldin (pictured above pouting after receiving the news) who will now have three full weeks off (with next week's bye) after being mangled by suspended Jets cornerback Eric Smith.

In further Cardinals news, safety Adrian Wilson was fined $25,000 for the hit he put on Bills quarterback Trent Edwards last Sunday. Is it me or does Wilson have the worst luck with fines and penalties? The hit he put on Edwards, which was brutal, was clean. He did not dip his head and (unfortunately for the Bills) got a clear shot at the quarterback. The only thing more unfortunate for the Bills is the fact that when they get off the plane and realize they have to live in awful Buffalo.

Arizona football teams are in the spotlight

In a change of pace, ESPN has decided to cover Arizona Sports the past week. Why you ask? No, it's not because of the Cardinals or Sun Devils stellar play. Oh, no. It's the teams they're playing against. Yep, if the Cards weren't playing the Cowboys and Arizona State wasn't playing USC we would never hear about them. Phew, I thought ESPN had actually turned a corner. But no, they're still just obsessed with teams like USC, Notre Dame, the Cowboys, the Lakers, the Yankees and the Red Sox. Thank goodness, I was worried for a minute, I'm not sure how to act in a market that is actually relevant in the sports world. I'd have to buy a hat with a feather in it or something, or maybe just walk around with a boa constrictor on my neck.

Suns start preseason 1-1

The Terry Porter era has started for the Phoenix Suns, and it hasn't been too bad. The Suns are 1-1 in their first two preseason games, both of which did not feature Amare Stoudemire or Leandro Barbosa. Shaq has looked surprisingly agile in the first two games, scoring 20 points in the Suns first game.

It will definitely be interesting to see how the Suns adapt to the new system, but if you think they are going to win the west, you are crazy. The Western Conference is so ridiculously stacked this year that the Suns may be lucky to even make the playoffs. Furthermore, Steve Nash (pictured above headbutting a Hawks player into the third row) is on a downward slant, and has been the Suns' MVP the past four years. It is disappointing that the Suns weren't able to capture a championship during the D'antoni era, but at least we get to crack jokes about Robin Lopez's awful haircut.

Former Cardinal gets 4 game suspension

Former Cardinals player and current Bengals Linebacker Darryl Blackstock was suspended for four games on Tuesday, after testing positive for performance-enhancing supplements. They almost never say what supplements they were, but I hope it was something cool, like Snake Testosterone or Sex Panther. You have to make sure it's made of real bits of panther though, that way you know it's good.

By the way this is just fitting for the Bengals. A guy plays three years with another team, signs with the Bengals THEN gets suspended. It's like a match made in Heaven.

Red Sox, Rays advance

The NLCS and ALCS are not both set as the Red Sox and Rays finished off their respective series on Monday night. Now we are privileged to get 7 MORE games of these two teams playing each other, I guess the 19 times during the regular season wasn't enough. Seriously, it's like watching the Cavs and Wizards, they play each other like 45 times a year it seems.

By the way, I chose a picture of the Rays because this will be the last chance I'm going to have to post a picture of them celebrating. Yah, I said it, Red Sox in 5. And as much as I hate saying it, being a D'backs fan, its going to be a Manny/Sawx reunion up in Boston.

TGISports Weekend Highlights

Dodgers sweep Cubs - Way to show everyone how to waste a great regular season, Cubbies. You're like the MLB-equivalent to the Suns.

Phillies finish off Brewers - At least now that donut-pounding C.C. Sabathia can stop his diet and start crushing Krispe Kreme by the dozen.

Seattle got pounded - The Seahawks managed to look even worse than the Cardinals did in New York, losing 44-6 to the Giants. The only way the game could have gone worse is if some more of their remaining wide receivers got injured (like Deion Branch, for example). Oh wait, nevermind.

The Redskins are hot like fire - After beating the Cowboys last week in Dallas, the Redskins followed that up by beating the Eagles in Philly. Who would have thought the janitor they hired last year actually knew some football?

How did this happen?

In complete contrast to the Sun Devils, the Arizona Cardinals dominated the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, winning 41-17. They beat the Bills in every facet of the game, and blew the game open in the second half. Kurt Warner led the Cards to touchdowns on their first three drives, the complete opposite of last week's game in New York. After nothing went right for them against the Jets, everything did against the Bills. Their QB was knocked out, they fumbled the ball, and committed stupid penalties. Next week the Cards face the Cowboys, in what could be a pretty interesting game. The game is at home so at least the Cardinals have a puncher's chance of staying in the game with Dallas.

Kimbo FTL

Kimbo Slice was defeated in 14 seconds by last minute replacement Seth Petruzelli on Saturday night. The 6'2" brute was pummeled from the very beginning and had no chance to recover before the fight was called. The highlight of the night actually came during the post-fight interviews when Kimbo showed no remorse for his loss and simply told everyone where the after party was (and let me tell you, it was awesome). Props to both the guys for taking this fight on very short notice (Ken Shamrock somehow got injured the night of the fight). Hopefully EliteXC will have a chance to get another show or two before it inevitably goes under, this one was pretty decent.

Boldin out for Buffalo game

After fracturing his sinus against the Jets, Cardinals wide receiver Anquan Boldin will be out for Sunday's game against the Bills. Boldin underwent surgery to repair his sinus and could be out for the Cowboys game as well (Oct. 12). It probably is a good idea to not even worry about him coming back until after the bye week, seeing as he is one of the most important players on the team. The Cards will get beat mercilessly by the Cowboys with him in there anyway, so he might as well take that game off.

The Cardinals are favored for no reason

On a whim, I just checked the line for the Cardinals game on Sunday against the Buffalo Bills, and for some unknown reason are favored by a point. The Cardinals have beat two horrible teams and lost two games against mediocre teams on the road (including giving up 1,000 touchdowns to Brett Favre....wait, 1001 now, he just threw another). The Bills, on the other hand, gave a 34-10 pounding to Seattle in week 1 and also won IN Jacksonville. I would never bet against the Cardinals, but if they win against the Bills it will be just about as big an upset as the 'Skins beating Dallas last week.

MLB postseason isn't bad

Dodgers beat those stupid Cubs - all I can say to Cubs fans is hahahaha. You stink and you're not gonna win a championship for another year.

Red Sox comeback on Angels - The LA Angels (I refuse to type their full name) had been 64-15 when scoring first during the season. Well, now its 64-16 after the Red Sox came back and beat them 4-1 on Wednesday. That makes 10 straight in the postseason for the 'Sox over the Angels. The only rivalry more lopsided than this is the ASU UofA football rivalry. Dis!

Phillies go up 1-0 on the Brewers - Despite having one of the best offenses in the majors, the Brewers could only manage one run in a 3-1 loss to Cole Hamels and the Phillies. What an exciting game, 8 total hits. I had a root canal the other day that was more exciting.

Be thankful you're not Travis Henry

On Wednesday former Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry was arrested for allegedly conspiring to deal cocaine. This appears to be the final straw in a long beleaguered career for the running back. Henry, who is famous for having nine children with nine different women, has had trouble many times before. He was released from the Broncos on June 2, apparently because his effort was lacking. Or it could be the rumors that he tested positive for marijuana for a third time and could possibly face a year long suspension. It really couldn't get any worse for this guy, unless he slipped on a banana peel on the way to his cell. Or stepped on a rake and it flipped up and hit him in the face.

Check out this douche

Zack Hample (pictured above apparently in some kind of baseball grocery store) is famous for catching game balls from Major League Baseball games. Apparently he has almost 3,000 balls that he's caught, and has even written about about his experiences and strategies. Yahoo! has deemed him worthy of a front-story about how he was able to catch two home run balls at the final game at Yankee Stadium and one at the final game at Shea Stadium. For the record, I am very jealous of this guy, but it doesn't mean he's not a douche. Just look at those balls!? I know some people would be happy just to...thats what she said! Almost missed that one. Phew.


Picture Source: NY Times

Great, another Chicago team in the playoffs

The Chicago White Sox beat the Minnesota Twins in a one game playoff on Tuesday night, assuring them a spot in the ALDS. It's bad enough that the Cubs are already in the playoffs, now we have the damn Southsiders in as well. Chicago fans are on the short list of "most annoying fans" in my book, just behind Yankees fans and Cowboys fans. I guess I'll have to invest in a Dodgers hat and a Rays hat, seeing as I'm their number fan right now.