I know this isn't a legal news website or anything like that (let's be honest, it's barely a REGULAR website) but the following story does involve a football, so I'm deeming it relevant to sports.
Apparently, some children were playing football in their neighborhood when their ball flew into the yard of 89-year-old Edna Jester. Edna (who you can immediately tell is old because no mother has named their child "Edna" in the last 70 years) was sick of all the fun being had and decided to keep the football to herself (that or she was mad because she wanted to play fullback in high school). So the kids, being logical and not over-the-top, had Edna arrested for petty theft. Edna's response? She, of course, sued those little bastards for emotional distress. If this is what Edna does when a football lands in her yard, I would hate to see what she does if someone doesn't clean up after their dog in her lawn (It probably involves several sticks of dynamite).
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