The bench played better

So the Phoenix Suns lost to the Dallas Mavericks 140-116 on Sunday, a game in which officially closed the door on any playoffs hopes for the Suns this year. This was also a game in which the Suns gave up 80 first half points, which begs the question: how the hell do you give up 80 points in the first half on your "World Cup" game? (Grant Hill's words) Also, how do you make 58 year old Jason Kidd look like Magic Johnson in his pride? This bald SOB pictured above had 16 assists in the first half. He was making passes from all over the court, and topped it off with his last one to Josh Howard who hit a 70 footer right before the half. It was ridiculous, the Suns had no interest in playing any defense (and boy did Mark Jackson let us know about it on ABC) and gave up halfway through the 2nd quarter.

This brings me to my next point; the Suns bench played much better than the starters on Sunday. In fact, they have been for the past week. Every time Dudley, Amundson, Dragic, Swift and Tucker (and now Barbosa) go out there, they outscore the other team and hustle their asses off. The most exciting part of the game on Sunday was the beginning of the second quarter, in which the Suns bench outplayed the Mavericks bench and closed the lead to 3 points.

Maybe it's for the best that the Suns lost in this way, because now they know for sure that they are not good enough to be in the playoffs and shouldn't harbor any leftover feelings for this season. I'm ready to move on to what will be one of the most interesting Suns offseasons in recent memory and I hope the front office is as well.

TGISports early weekend highlights

It's UNC v Mich St. - If you claim to have Michigan St. winning it all in your bracket, your lying and everyone knows it. Not even people from Michigan picked 'em, they all picked Michigan or even wrote in "Detroit University" before picking the Spartans.

Wrestlemania XXV - It's tonight! I don't know about about you but I'm watching my backside. Cause, you know, if you hear that glass, it's your ass.

It's the Laker-Beatdown-Bowl! - The Suns and Maverics face off Sunday afternoon, a game that will go a long way in determining who gets beat like a 4 year old in KMart by the Lakers in the playoffs. Please, oh please can the Suns be given that honor!

Baseball's back, baby! - Is it that wonderful time of year again already? I'll give you a quick rundown of what the next 6 months are gonna look like on Sportscenter:

YankeesYankeesYankeesRedSoxYankeesMetsYankeesRedsoxPhillies(if they're lucky)YankeesMannyBein'MannyYankeesRedsoxSteroidsAll-StarYankeesYankeesYankees(Yankees eliminated from playoff contention)YankeesMets(Mets drop out of playoff contention)PlayoffsYankeesOffseason

I can't wait!!

More April Fool's wackiness!

Believe it or not, there were even more April Fool's pranks involving sports that I neglected to mention yesterday. These people are just so clever, they should get some kind of award. And by "award" I mean "beaten on camera":

Orlando Magic - pulled the 'ole switcharoo on the crowd, first making them think they pranked a fan at center court, then having the joke turned on them. Bottom line: this joke is way to damn complicated for me to follow. Read the link if you'd like a nice nap this morning.

Hasheem Thabeet - The UCONN center put on his clown nose and concocted an amazing prank on twitter (aka Prank Central Station). A failed drug test, OMG LOL ROFL!!! By the way, when did Thabeet turn into a 12 year old girl? A few less exclamations and capital leters please, kthxbai.

KTAR - Go screw, KTAR. You are a legitimate news outlet and decide to prank the State of Arizona. Whoever runs that company should be fired and not allowed to work in radio ever again.

University of Arizona - The big joke this week was that Tim Floyd supposedly turned down the job at Arizona and....oh wait that wasn't a joke? Oh, my apologies, I guess it was just a terribly embarrasing situation for the school and basketball program. Sorry about that.

Bears get Cutler, give up a boatload

Gigantic news coming out of Chicago today, as the Chicago Bears have acquired Pro Bowl quarterback Jay Cutler. According to ProFootballTalk, the Bears are giving up:

Two 1st round picks
One 3rd round pick
Quarterback Kyle Orton

Not too bad for a guy who is 17-20 in his career. I'm not saying he's not worth it, but damn is that a lot. The Bears finally, finally have a franchise quarterback and may finally be able to put up some points. I love the fact that they shipped Mr. Beard himself Kyle Orton to Denver, if only they could have found a way to ship off Sexy Rexy Grossman as well.

The team that seems to have missed out the most is the Washington Redskins, who were heavily involved (allegedly) in trade talks with Cutler. Hopefully Jason Campbell isn't too emotionally damaged to continue playing average football for them.

(by the way apparently Jay Cutler is also the name of a famous bodybuilder, an a handsome one at that)

April Fools FTL, Around The Horn FTW

Seeing as I am starchily against April Fool's jokes, I was pretty much upset all day yesterday, as every media outlet in America tried their best to pull one over on you. Only Around the Horn (video above) came through with a decent "prank" when Woody Paige hosted the show instead of Tony Reali (who appeared as a panelist).

As a service to my millions of readers, I thought I'd run down a few of the worst perpetrators (some sports related, some not):

PTI - Their lead story was that Calipari passed on the Kentucky job and Rick Pitino had stepped in. Had me for about 3 seconds, then I was blinded with rage

Gambo and Ash - Claimed that Lute Olsen has decided to come back to the University of Arizona to coach again (this actually would have been better than what may REALLY happen)

Heidi Montag - Claimed she was pregnant on twitter, only ended up fooling herself. BOOM, roasted. (BTW if you follow her on twitter, you should be thrown in a burlap sack and beaten)

CBS - Promoted a new show called "I Get That A Lot" where celebrities posed as normal people and when people recognized them they say "I get that a lot". Wait, this wasn't a joke? It's an actual show?

Another maddening Suns win

The Suns had a great showing last night, beating the Houston Rockets 124-119. Steve Nash had a great game, netting 25 points and 17 assists in the win. And is it just me or is the most exciting part of the game when the 2nd unit comes in. The team of Amundson, Tucker, Dudley, Swift and Goran Dragic (pictured above looking like he's 16 years old) may not be the most gifted bunch, but damn do they play hard.

Unfortunately for the Suns they are still 4 games out of the playoffs because the Mavericks beat the Miami Heat by two freakin' points in Dallas on Wednesday (serenity now!). This leaves only 7 games to make up a 4 game defecit, although Alvin Gentry doesn't seem to awful worried.

Just about everything that can go wrong for the Suns has this year; every time they get a big win, so do the teams in front of them, and every time the teams in front of them lose, the Suns have an embarrassing defeat. Every time the Suns win a couple games in a row, they lose a star player. It just isn't their year. It's like when you take the early flight home from San Diego and you find two naked blindfolded people ready to hop out of your bathroom like a damn magic show, it's just not good.