The USA sucks (at baseball)

In the most embarrassing moment in United States history since Reindeer Games, the U.S. baseball team got pounded 11-1 by Puerto Rico. Puerto effing Rico. Don't we literally own them? Couldn't Obama have jumped in during the 5th inning and just arrested everybody involved in their team? Or at least arrested their family members and distracted him

I can only imagine the reason for this loss was that we wanted to give all the other countries (and U.S. owned territories) in the world a day to think they are actually better than us.